A TEN STEP PROGRAM FOR PARENTS

“A HEALTHY OUTLOOK ON YOUR CHILD’S FUTURE”

By Dick Armour

1. CREATE A SAFE HARBOR AT HOME

· Make home a place to be

· Establish, expand and protect family time

· Build family ground rules before they are needed

· Prepare for what might be, before it becomes a problem

2. CHECK THE MIRROR

· Look in the mirror to see if you are the role model you want for your child

· “Functional adults are not necessarily functional parents” – Often success and personal career is at the expense of the family (children are 3^rd on the list)

· A parent can be instrumental in providing suggestions, guidance and helping their child develop a balance in life.

3. TAKE CHARGE OF THE TV

· TV is a passive pastime and a form of addiction

· Their physiological response to TV is similar to the human response (sedative/hypnotic drugs)

4. ASK FOR HELP

· You need a license to drive a car and even to catch a fish

· Functional parents produce functional children

· Dysfunctional parents almost never held accountable for producing dysfunctional children

· If you do not know what to do, do not be afraid to ask for help

· It is simple to say to another parent “Can you help me with this? What do you do when. . ? Do you know anyone who can help me with this?

· Asking for help does not mean you’re a failure as a parent, but a parent who cares enough to ask

· Seek out your child’s teachers, coaches and mentors. More connection between parents and school = more information about your child

5. ENGAGE YOUR CHILD

· Negative influences get appealing when that is all that is surrounding your child. (Fear, doubts and insecurities) “Misery likes company”

· Quality time is essential and should be a daily ritual. Communication strengthens the family bond and also helps to prevent negative outside influences

· National statistics state that the average family in the United States today spends approximately 57 minutes a day together as a family

· Capitalize on ‘teachable’ moments; avoid relying on the convenient ‘preachable’ moment

· Listen to learn

6. BUILD A VILLAGE

· There was a time when families lived in tight neighborhoods; they had a village to raise a child. Your child will benefit from a community that watches over them on your behalf (values)

· Remember ‘the little birdie?” Remember when you were a kid and did something wrong and you asked your parent how they found out? The answer was always “a little birdie told me”

7. SEPARATE FACTS, VALUES AND EMOTIONS

· Present facts that are proven

· Present your values based on your experience and earned knowledge

· Maintain your objectivity by dealing with your emotions before you confront your child

· Advocate your child’s teacher. The child must not manipulate connections between parent and teacher

· Teachers and parents must be partners (facts, values, emotions

· The next closest person to your child on a daily basis is your child’s teacher (surrogate parent)

8. PRO-ACT INSTEAD OF RE-ACT

· An ounce of prevention. . . . !! It is too late to put up the lightening rods, if the storm is raging outside

· As the child grows he/she changes and so will the need for new skills

· Stay ahead of the game. Develop your parenting skills before each new challenge

· Use the “P” phrase

· Parenting prevents poor pupil performance

9. DISCIPLINE WITH DIGNITY

· When disciplining your child, explain the reason why without attacks to their self-esteem and self worth

· Example: “I love you very much, but what you did was wrong. . .”

· Create accountability (no TV for a week); Don’t waver or be inconsistent

· Most important – always ask ‘Do you understand?”

· Cost and consequences

10. HELP THEM FIND A PURPOSE

· Give your child a compass

· Connect your child with a purpose, with roads and pathways to success (they won’t find this at the mall)

· Give your child a purpose and the tools and you won’t have to worry about D/A, crime and negative behaviors

· Physical world vs. material world equals every parent’s biggest nightmare – “You don’t buy love”

· If you as parents create positive ground rules at an early age and teach your child that he/she has a purpose in life, this will become a natural way of thinking.

“CHILDREN ARE OUR GREATEST RESOURCE”

Top of Page